I’m Rafa Alenda
I work with men in midlife who look fine on the outside but feel unsettled underneath. They’re often used to solving problems and keeping things moving. What’s harder is making room for their own questions.
I recognize that territory.
I’ve spent most of my life navigating transitions. Born in Spain, raised in England, lived in Northern California for most of my life, and now live in Seattle. I earned my BA and MBA from UC Berkeley and spent 20 years in tech marketing building brands, leading teams, and staying very busy.
Eventually, I hit pause.
What followed wasn’t a dramatic reinvention. It involved loss, reflection, and a long stretch of not knowing what was next.
That experience is the backbone of this work. It helps me understand how disorienting it can feel when a life you’ve worked hard to build starts raising questions you can’t answer by working harder.
What I bring to our conversations
Part of the reason I love my job is because I love to ask questions and actively listen to the answers.
I’ll reflect on our conversation — including patterns you may find difficult to see from inside your own life.
There’s room to be uncertain, change your mind, and say something before you’ve worked out exactly what you mean.
As things become clearer, I help you turn that understanding into action that fits your circumstances. You remain the person making the decisions.
Lastly, it’s my goal to create safe, judgement-free, and confidential space for you to open up and explore ideas and thoughts you might have never thought about before.
“In challenging times…you need someone in your corner. Rafa not only does this with both compassion and empathy, but does so in a way that makes you feel safe and feel heard, but also challenges you to seek meaning and understanding for what is truly important.
Ultimately Rafa helped me unfuck myself when I needed it the most.”
Stevan, Coaching clientOutside this work, I’m a dad to three adult sons and the human sidekick to a bulldog named Doug, who believes meetings are optional but snacks are not.
I love seeing live music and squeezing as much juice out of what life has to offer with my partner, Ann.
This is Doug and not one of my sons or Ann 😊.